Now What?

Thoughts to those who are just as clueless as me right now.

The first time I experienced loss of a significant magnitude was when my father died. It was unexpected — he unceremoniously said goodbye on the way to work, and 20 minutes later was dead from a head-on car collision. I remember waking up the next morning feeling like it was all a dream, but when reality set in, I felt helpless. Disbelief then led to the only question you can ask yourself in that situation: Now what?

I’ve always been prone to languishing in pain before figuring out what I need to do to move on from life’s setbacks. One of my father’s mantras, said a final time to his brother who was staying with us two days before his death, was:

Life is like a tree — you prune it, you cry and then you move on.

It’s something I’ve managed to keep with me in getting me through the darkest moments of my life as look toward a future I need to figure out while resolving the pain.

When awoke yesterday morning, for a brief moment I forgot what I witnessed the night before as election results came in. Once the reality of what had just happened trickled back into my consciousness and processing the magnitude its implications, the indescribable sense of loss hit me. Granted, nothing will equal the unique sense of loss as losing someone you love, but the debilitating and paralyzing feeling of the frightening reality we all have to face is just as impactful. The big difference when I asked myself “now what?” was that I honestly had no fucking clue. The world around me was going change.

This is the feeling half of our country is processing right now.

I’m not one for dramatics, but the implications of the Trump/Republican one-party trifecta has some very serious and horrifying implications for millions of people in America, and they essentially relegate some of us to second-class status. As part of the LGBT community, I accept that I’m just in one of many cohorts who will be oppressed as a consequence of Tuesday night’s results. Women, racial and/or religious minorities, undocumented immigrants are others. Even if you’re not in any of these groups, you all know someone who is. Beyond that, the ramifications of delicate global economic and geopolitical relations are unknown, but it’s hard not to picture some instability down the line impacting every single one of us.

With all that floating in our heads, the question of “now what?” is beyond comprehension. In the wake of a situation that half of this country wanted to avoid, this is what made for a day of mourning yesterday, as many us were feeling as if someone died. We just weren’t sure who. The silence that fills our brains every time we ask ourselves “now what?” only leaves us more anxious, angry, defeated and hopeless.

But today is another day, and with each passing minute, we are led toward clarity. Make no mistake, given everything that can and will be undone from our nation’s progress, it’s hard to game plan this out. Because I can’t sit here helpless (and you shouldn’t either), here’s what I’ve come up with in the last 36 hours to offer as what to do now.

• First and foremost, we need to support and respect one another. Hillary tried to impress on us that we are stronger together. Ask those around you what they need. Ask those around you for what you need. Don’t let your privilege prevent you from offering anything more than empty empathy to those who stand the most to lose. Stand with them, and stand for them.
• Be prepared to join a cause. Given that a number of rights that we worked tirelessly on for the last half century are in jeopardy, they’ll be plenty of causes to support. But be prepared to give the biggest resource anyone can offer — your time. These efforts may not always be the kind of efforts you can throw money at and be done (although it helps), so be ready to take the time to help.
• Protest if you think it helps your voice be heard, but don’t think the progress will be instant. The fights we must pursue for what we believe in will be measured in years, and will need to be ongoing. That said, be prepared to commit for the long haul, and think about what will be the most meaningful way to unite to influence change for the long run.
• We need to be on top of our elected officials. It’s easy to say that with the Democrats not holding either house, nothing can get done, but they can (and should) put up a fight on our behalf. That’s their job, and we need to be on them for that — continuously.
• Participate in your community’s government. Many of the issues we face are potentially impacting us on a nationwide scale, but it also matters on at a community level. Make your voices heard and show your local officials who their constituents are beyond going to regular city council meetings. “Act locally, think globally,” I believe, is the saying.

In the coming weeks, I’m sure they’ll be a lot more we’re all going to figure out what to do next to get us through the next few years. It will be long, and it will be difficult, but you and I are not alone. You must remember that half of the country chose to protect everything we stand for, and while very little gives me comfort right now, I hold on to that to give me hope that we can stand together.

It’s unfortunate that we even have to considering fighting for what we’ve already fought for, but I accept that it is our duty to do so as part of living in this country. It’s easy to say that we just up and leave America, but not all of us can, and no one should have to. The United States was founded on the democratic ideal that we make government in the image of its people and that works for the people. It doesn’t belong to a political party, but belongs to us, and we need to remind each other of that fact, as well as those who we put in office to represent the people. That is what we need to do now.