Are You a Narcissist or Narcissus?
Narcissism is all the rage these days. But how can you tell for sure if you are a Narcissist or simply Narcissus? Take our simple quiz to find out!
1. I believe my appearance is …
A: Pretty average. I have my good hair days and my bad hair days like anyone else.
B: Way more attractive than most people.
C: I am the most beautiful person ever born. Even the gods think so!
2. My family heritage is special, true or false?
A: False. We’re pretty typical, mostly normal with a smattering of “unusual” family members.
B: True. I come from a long line of impressive people.
C: True. My father is a literal god.
3. When people first see me they…
A: Look past me for the person they are waiting for.
B: Are impressed with my good looks.
C: Follow me around the woods and pine away for love of me.
4. When I picture my future I imagine…
A: Who the hell knows? Life has its ups and downs.
B: An extraordinarily successful life. I’m going places, baby!
C: A long and impressive life. A seer promised my mom I’d have a long life as long as something didn’t happen. I can’t remember what exactly because who can be bothered to listen when nymphs are talking?
5. What do you do when you catch your reflection in a shop window?
A: Stop to check if my hair is okay and make sure I don’t have something stuck in my teeth.
B: Pause to appreciate how good-looking I am. I really am a gift to this world.
C: Shop window? What the hell are you talking about? How could you see your reflection in a window?
6. When someone falls in love with me and I’m not interested in them…
A: I try to be kind and let them down gently. I’ve been there and I know what it feels like.
B: I might have sex with them then ghost them if they are good-looking enough. It’s hard to find someone good enough for me.
C: I push them away cruelly. Nobody should be trying to hug me. They might mess up my perfect toga.
7. My ex’s generally…
A: Move on to someone else. It’s sad, but breakups happen.
B: Struggle to get over me. Once you’ve dated someone like me, how can you settle for the ordinary?
C: Wander the woods in despair wasting away into nothingness until all that remains is a faint echo of their voice.
8. Do you have an enemy who plots against you?
A: Of course not, what is this a comic book?
B: I am the nemesis for many people. If you have offended me watch out!
C: The goddess of retribution and revenge, Nemesis, is out to get me. She’s been mumbling something about that annoying nymph Echo and cruelty blah, blah, blah. Who cares?
9. What’s the best gift anyone ever gave you?
A. My parents bought me a used car when I graduated from college. That was pretty cool.
B: Who cares what other people give me? My very existence is a gift to the world. Other people should be showering me with gifts. Nothing is too good for me.
C: Nemesis came by the other day and led me to a pond. I guess she finally saw the light and got over that Echo thing. Anyway, I could see my reflection in the pond, and damn, am I good looking or what. Best gift ever.
10. What are you doing today?
A. Nothing much. Work. Dinner. Maybe some Netflix and chill later.
B. I’m finally gonna stick it to Tony at work. He laughed at my idea in a meeting last week and I’ve been plotting against him ever since. Today, Tony is going down.
C: I will be at this pool all day staring at my unfathomable beauty. It’s what I have been doing for the last few days or maybe it’s weeks. I’ve lost track because who can concentrate with such a handsome dude staring at you. I’m getting kind of hungry and starting to feel faint but how can I possibly pull away from this magnificence. I’d rather die than leave.
Scoring the quiz
Mostly A’s: You are a normal person, neither a narcissist nor Narcissus.
Mostly B’s: You are a narcissist. Please seek professional help to avoid hurting others.
Mostly C’s: You are the Greek demigod Narcissus. At least there is a nice flower named after you.