Best Medical Practices, According to the Arizona Supreme Court
Who needs “adequate healthcare” when you have pre-Civil War medicine?
Dear annoyingly loud constituents,
As you know, we, the Arizona Supreme Court, recently voted to reinstate a near-total abortion ban from 1864. We’ve since heard a myriad of complaints calling us “archaic,” and “ridiculous” for using medical decisions from over 160 years ago.
As a well-informed and very mature decision-making body, we’d like to say: we’re not ridiculous, youuuuu’re ridiculous! Ha.
To prove just how right we are about forcing this centuries-old medical judgment into modern healthcare, here are some more 1800s medical ideas we’re looking to reinstate:
Chiller Doctors
Let’s go back to a time when our morals were right and our surgeons wore street clothes caked in blood and not those elitist, “sanitary” scrubs.
No extensively trained loser “experts”, just a couple of fun bros who turned to medicine because regulations for butchers were too strict. That’s how things should be!
