Come to My Gatsby-Themed NYE Party, Even Though I’ve Never Read The Great Gatsby
I’m a beautiful little fool who loves beautiful, extravagant parties!
Hey, old sport! It’s me, your old college sorority sis, who’s throwing a Gatsby-themed New Year’s Eve party and would love for you to attend. Although I’ve never read the book, I watched the movie after my recent wisdom teeth removal, and I think I got the gist!
Wear your cutest flapper outfit. In the movie, Leonardo DiCaprio simply adores women who wear flapper dresses. He admires this girl named Daisy from afar in a totally consensual, not at all stalkerish way! Even better if your dress is green because green universally means, “go ahead and get your flirt on, even if she’s married!”
Pin your hair into a bob. It’ll take you back to the 1920s, when women, like Daisy, were definitely respected and not at all objectified. Remember Michael from your Econ class? Well, don’t tell him that I told you, but he thinks you are way hotter now that you lost weight. You can definitely hook up with him at my party!
At my party, we’ll listen to authentic music from the decade. I’ve hired a DJ to play records featuring age-old popular hits by Jay-Z, Fergie, and Lana Del Rey. “Young and Beautiful” is my jam. Although it does lull me…
