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Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by literature, history, and life

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Dear Tenant, Please Remove the Dragon From Your Apartment

3 min readJun 28, 2024

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Image from Unsplash

203,

We have been informed that there is an unregistered dog residing in your unit. All dogs must be approved by management. Please provide the following information asap:

  • Dog name
  • Dog breed
  • Dog gender
  • Dog age

We also require a copy of the vaccination records for your dog, and there’s a $125 monthly surcharge for keeping a pet in your apartment.

—Management

Hey Brent,

Thanks for the note. How’s everything going these days? Haven’t seen you around in a while. BTW, the washing machine in my apartment is still broken, if you wouldn’t mind sending someone around to fix that. I’m getting tired of having to buy new underwear every week, and life would be cheaper if I could simply wash the underwear I already own.

Also, I don’t have a dog.

~ Charlie

203,

I have it on good authority that you do own a dog. Please provide the requested information asap.

—Management

Brent,

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Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
Sarah Lofgren
Sarah Lofgren

Written by Sarah Lofgren

Engaged in inadvisable wordsmitheries and other creative acts. http://sarahlofgren.com

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