Member-only story
Dear Tenant, Please Remove the Dragon From Your Apartment
Management is not amused
203,
We have been informed that there is an unregistered dog residing in your unit. All dogs must be approved by management. Please provide the following information asap:
- Dog name
- Dog breed
- Dog gender
- Dog age
We also require a copy of the vaccination records for your dog, and there’s a $125 monthly surcharge for keeping a pet in your apartment.
—Management
Hey Brent,
Thanks for the note. How’s everything going these days? Haven’t seen you around in a while. BTW, the washing machine in my apartment is still broken, if you wouldn’t mind sending someone around to fix that. I’m getting tired of having to buy new underwear every week, and life would be cheaper if I could simply wash the underwear I already own.
Also, I don’t have a dog.
~ Charlie
203,
I have it on good authority that you do own a dog. Please provide the requested information asap.
—Management
Brent,