Edgar Allan Poe’s The Bells of Amazon

Hear the loud Alexa bells

Rochelle E. Fisher
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
3 min readNov 3, 2021


Hear the Amazon delivery truck with bells —
Ring Doorbells!
What a world of capitalism their melody foretells.
How they jingle, jingle, jingle
Making our phones ignite!
While the packages do oversprinkle
All the executives seem to twinkle
With a mu-ha-ha delight;
Keeping money, money, money,
In a sort of corporate funny,
For the buying of gadgets, one is unable to quell
And roommates say what the hell, hells, hells, hells,
Here it’s the seventh hell —
All from the jingling and the ringing of the bells.

Hear the vibrating phone bells,
Golden alert bells!
Now, a day of sales their melody foretells!
Keep hitting reload all day through the night
Members sing out when deals delight
For the juicer-blender promotes
An electric fork-spoon
What, a turbo alligator float?
To the Bezos that listens, while he gloats
On the moon!
Oh, from the temptations he does sell
What a gush of clutter voluminously wells!
How it makes partners yell!
Why’d you buy this one-shirt-washer-dryer, do tell?
Oh the future! How it smells
Of the e-composter that swells
And puts us in an unbreakable spell
Of the buying hells, hells, hells,
Of the hells, hells, hells, hells
Shit, we aren’t done yet —
Not with the hells —
Of the rhyming and chiming of the sale bells!

Hear the loud Alexa bells —
Talking bells!
What a tale of stalking, now, its voice tells!
In the startled ear of night…



Rochelle E. Fisher
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Top writer in Satire & Parenting, Rochelle's words can be found in McSweeney’s, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, Points in Case, Weekly Humorist, Frazzled, and others.