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Famous Witches, Ghosts, And Monsters On Tinder

Falling in love has never been scarier

Kyrie Gray
Mar 20 · 4 min read

It can be hard to find love, even in with the best of circumstances. While technology has made things easier, some still struggle to be accepted. This is particularly true for legendary monsters that are typically given wide berth. Yet these once monstrous beings now seek a change of lifestyle and a partner to enjoy that new lifestyle with. Here are just some monsters, ghosts, and witches who are now on Tinder, seeking such a partner.

Name: Baba Yaga
Location: Russia
Hobbies: Cooking, punishing the wicked, jogging with my house along the shaded paths of the forest.

You know what they say, age is just a number. If you’d like a mature woman who knows her way around the kitchen, bedroom, and the dark forest, why don’t you send me a little message?

Although please be aware I’m not into the bad boy type. I don’t take kindly to those who are not kind. But if you’re a nice person, then we won’t have a problem.

I know many young people are struggling to afford a house on their own. Not me. I own my cottage. It’s a two-bedroom, two-bath, two chicken feet beauty that is impossible to miss. The feet allow it to move which means I can pick you up as well. Imagine how much you’ll save on Uber fees. Though I will miss eating those Uber drivers. Talking! I meant talking to those drivers.

Name: Boo Hag
Location: South Carolina
Hobbies: Making my own clothes.

You never really know someone until you walk around in their shoes. Or their skin. What I’m saying is I want to get to know you really well. If you’re looking for something casual that’s fine, we can make this a night only kind of relationship. Give me a chance, and I’ll leave you breathless.

Name Loch Ness or Nessie
Location: Scotland
Hobbies: Reading, cooking, watching TV and…reading.

Umm, hey. Sorry, I don’t talk (write) much. You may have heard I’m quite shy, and it’s true. Loud noises and people startle me. I’m interested in someone who doesn’t mind a homebody and wants to stay in and watch movies. We can take leisurely strolls along the shore and frantically hide if someone with a camera comes along.

Obviously, I don’t do selfies. But I do like cooking a romantic meal for the person I love. Fair trade?

Name La Llorona
Location: Mexico
Hobbies: Babysitting, crying in the forest, and knitting.

Don’t let the wedding dress scare you away, I’m not looking for true love. There is no true love. Just men who cheat.

OK, I obviously have had my heart broken before. I would prefer to never go down that road again. Though I will admit the one thing I’m hoping to find is a man who wants kids. I love kids. Love them. So much I want to drown their cute faces off! That’s the phrase, right?

Name: Jinn
Location: I’ve lived all over the Middle East, I can’t really pick which place is my home, you know?
Hobbies: Whatever you wish them to be!

Give me a swipe and I can make all your dreams come true!

No seriously, that’s my thing. I’m a freelance Jinn. Or as free as any Jinn can be. I’ll treat you how you wish. Literally, how you wish. Like really literally, so be careful what you wish for. One girl wished I would just go away while we were sailing on the ocean. Big mistake.

Name: Kappa
Location: Japan
Hobbies: Swimming and hanging out with my friends!

Let’s get one thing straight, I’m not your traditional slim siren or curvy succubus. I’m a water demon with a hard shell. However, you’ll see I have a soft heart once you get to know me.

I plan on paying my own way and standing up for myself. I bow to no one. Unless you bow first. Please don’t. I do not want you to bow at my feet, I’m not that kind of monster. Let’s just have a fun date or two, where no one bows.

Name: Tsukumogami
Location: Japan
Hobbies: Dumpster diving. One person’s garbage is probably my new friend.

I’m not picky. I just want to find a partner who won’t treat me like trash.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other…

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Writer, illustrator, and sometimes funny person.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

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