Frequently Asked Questions Concerning Our Invasion of Your Planet
Please read carefully before bothering one of your new overlords.
Despite the events of the past week is there any chance you come in peace?
I’m afraid not. The bloodshed and outright carnage we have been responsible for over the last seven days is fairly indictive of our long-term goals in regard to the inhabitants of your planet.
We haven’t somehow misread your intentions?
Not unless you believe our intentions to be forcing Earthlings into complete servitude. In that case you are spot on. Well done.
This isn’t some sort of test and any minute now you are going to turn round and say, “Congratulations you’ve passed and we can now become economic partners” or something like that?
It would be a funny sort of test. A kind of a, “Let’s kill lots of you and see how you feel about it” sort of test. No, it doesn’t sound quite right does it? I think we will have to agree that our time on Earth has not taken the form of a test.
Our planet has a rich variety of vitamins/minerals and various sources of energy. Are you sure you don’t want to trade?
