Greek Myths Rewritten For Modern Times

If Homer were a hipster the stories would be different

Kyrie Gray
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
3 min readNov 29, 2018

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Athena leans in

Athena prides herself on her weaving abilities. When Arachne, a mere mortal, claims to be the better weaver, Athena takes that as a challenge. Athena is shocked when the human is superior. For a moment Athena considers changing Arachne into a spider for some good old-fashioned ironic punishment.

Then she remembers that women are often taught to compete against other women instead being supportive. So the goddess of wisdom congratulates Arachne and the two become great friends and business partners who use their skills to disrupt the male-dominated tapestry industry.

Hera deals with Zeus

Realizing that her husband’s victims are not to blame for his’ actions, Hera decides she is not going to destroy them. She gathers the women together and they produce a piece of investigative journalism that goes viral throughout the Greek world.

Zeus is forced to resign as the head of Mt. Olympus and Hera takes his place. Learning from past mistakes, she creates guidelines…

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