Guessing Your Job Description is Now Part of Your Performance Review
You didn’t know? I clearly remember leaving explicit hieroglyphics!
Here at Opaque Enterprises, we believe in keeping you on your toes. Because the best way to ensure our success is by not telling you anything. Ever. Every piece of information — from where to find copy paper to what’s our actual company mission — poses a national security risk.
As your manager, it’s my solemn duty to keep you perpetually in the dark. That’s why we’ve instituted our top-secret performance review process, where your job description is anyone’s guess. As long as you guess correctly, that is.
Some might argue that deliberately withholding information violates our corporate values of transparency, honesty, and integrity. I understand that stumbling blindly through the fog may not sound enlightening. But in reality, these actions facilitate transparent communication.
Confused? Good. That’s the first step.
In a world where everyone has a well-defined role, it’s far too easy to point fingers when something goes wrong. Not that I’m shielding myself from potential fallout! Rather, I’m empowering you reach beyond your limitations. I’m fostering a culture of autonomy and self-discovery.
