Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by literature, history, and life

Member-only story

How to Prepare for Life Under Techno-feudalism

Caleb Coy
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
5 min readApr 15, 2025

--

Tech bro wears a crown as he surveys his workers.
Image created in Canva

As you may have been made aware, we are scooting past capitalism into a techno-feudal society, in which Silicon Valley overlords will control the majority of the wealth, data, and ability to interpret or erode The Constitution.

Tilling the personal data fields of our mostly white cis male tech lords, with no digital autonomy of your own, is a twenty-four-hour job. Since you weren’t born with the money to purchase a tech firm, you were born to subscribe to, work for, and be a product of those firms.

In such a society, being an efficient citizen will require no small amount of strategic planning. Here are some tips to help you adapt to these new conditions:

Invest

Own land? Or gold? Or land that has a gold mine? Not even a stake in an emerald mine? Did you invest in crypto ten years ago or more? No? Skip to the next tip.

Diversify your income streams

Everyone is a private contractor now. Gone are the days when you can rely on one job to provide you with a livable wage, benefits, retirement options, worker rights, and a bathroom break. Beat the system. Work multiple jobs, and you may be able to afford some semblance of the benefits you once…

--

--

Caleb Coy
Caleb Coy

Written by Caleb Coy

Caleb Coy is a humorist and freelance writer from Virginia. Work in McSweeney's, Slackjaw, Weekly Humorist, elsewhere. Follow @CalebCoyGuard