I Support the Jews But I Wish Moses Wouldn’t Call Down These Plagues

Yes, the pharaoh is problematic and we should protest but locusts are a step too far

Kyrie Gray
Jun 2, 2020 · 4 min read
Image for post
Image for post
Image licensed from Canva

When Moses came back from the desert and demanded that the pharaoh let his people go I silently thought to myself, “Finally, some positive change.”

As an Egyptian, I have watched the Jewish people toil away for years and felt sickened by the injustice. I inwardly applauded when one of them took a stand, and I quietly mourned when that slave was killed. Every time I passed by a Jewish person I gave them a kind smile and never once raised a whip at them.

So when the pharaoh refused I expected some protests. Tensions had been simmering for a long time and now this Moses was here to lead the people. Eagerly I waited for someone to tell me how to help. Where were we going to protest? My chisel was ready to carve, “Fuck the pharaoh” onto any stone surface I could find.

But then Moses released the plagues and I do not understand how this move promotes the Jewish people’s bid for freedom.

The water to blood event was horrifying. My morning routine was going along swimmingly and then BOOM! I have blood on my mouth, face, and hands. Please do not tell me the blood on my hands is some kind of symbolism. I’m still trying to get over the trauma. Do you know how awful it was to go a whole day without water in the hot Egyptian sun?

Once that plague went away I assumed Moses knew he’d made his point. Of course, our pharaoh, son of Ra, held fast to his decision.

The next day it rained frogs. FROGS! They blocked traffic, closed down the markets, and were super inconvenient. Is this how the Jewish protesters want to be remembered? As the reason why our streets are full of dead frogs? Because they don’t all survive when they hit the ground. Or our houses. One frog hit my wife! I hoped Moses was satisfied.

It turns out he was not. Our houses became infested with lice and fleas. It was painful and not at all necessary. I support the Jews being freed from servitude but only if they go through the proper process. Making my family itch all night and day will not do that, so I’m befuddled as to why Moses thinks he must release these plagues.

The death of our livestock hurt many businesses and livelihoods. The animals that died from the pestilence aren’t easily replaceable, like some claim. Nor are the crops which the locusts ate. Now we regular Egyptians (and the Jewish people) will go without food. Congratulations Moses, you hurt your own people with your actions.

I’m begging those who support the Jews, as I do, to condemn the use of plagues as a means to getting a message across. These angry boils on my flesh don’t make me sympathize with the cause. In fact, I can’t help but wonder if I am the one really being oppressed in this situation.

Especially after the thunderstorms and fire hail burned hundreds of buildings. The property damage is immense. I absolutely understand burning a pyramid because of the what it stands for. The rest of the destruction fell upon innocent Egyptians who, like myself, were ready to quietly support change over time as long as we didn’t have to sacrifice anything.

Now I see Moses as a criminal. I think he always wanted to hurt us regular Egyptians. He’s just using the Jewish people’s cause as an opportunity.

Three days of darkness at least brought some quiet, though it came from the terror of not knowing what would happen next. My daughter’s birthday went uncelebrated since everything was closed down due to total terrifying darkness. None of the other kids would come to ours either, since going outside with all the chaos. I hope that knowledge makes your quest for justice worth it, Moses.

Why didn’t Moses and his people work hard and get what they needed through peaceful and non-disruptive means? Even if it didn’t work the first time there’s no reason to think that another mass-kneeling wouldn’t do the trick the 98th time. Also if their God can kill my firstborn why can’t he free the Jewish people on his own? I feel like they are the ones who put their faith in the wrong God and because of that we regular Egyptians must suffer because of their poor choices.

I don’t care that it was primarily one man with a stick causing all this havoc. I, and history, will only remember that the Jewish people got their freedom through violence instead of a purely peaceful protest.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other…

Sign up for Jane Austen's Wastebasket

By Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Weekly roundup of funny stories so you never miss a laugh Take a look.

By signing up, you will create a Medium account if you don’t already have one. Review our Privacy Policy for more information about our privacy practices.

Check your inbox
Medium sent you an email at to complete your subscription.

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Writer of humor, spooky things, and history. Subscribe to my newsletter, Guffaw for updates, musings and other fun stuff https://guffaw.substack.com/welcome

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Writer of humor, spooky things, and history. Subscribe to my newsletter, Guffaw for updates, musings and other fun stuff https://guffaw.substack.com/welcome

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

Medium is an open platform where 170 million readers come to find insightful and dynamic thinking. Here, expert and undiscovered voices alike dive into the heart of any topic and bring new ideas to the surface. Learn more

Follow the writers, publications, and topics that matter to you, and you’ll see them on your homepage and in your inbox. Explore

If you have a story to tell, knowledge to share, or a perspective to offer — welcome home. It’s easy and free to post your thinking on any topic. Write on Medium

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store