I, the Brilliant Henry David Thoreau, Am Attempting to Build a House on Walden Pond Today
Rising costs won’t stop me!
That’s right, man. I came back from the dead because all your complaining about rising housing costs got to me. Obviously, you forgot the life lessons I taught you in my riveting 1854 essay about how I built for practically nothing in the woods. Newsflash. You still don’t need contractors, carpenters, or architects to build your dream home. I’ll prove it to you again. Because I’m the amazing Henry David Thoreau. Do you really think the high cost of lumber and labor will stop me?
Not a chance in hell, serfs.
Mid-spring, I borrowed a chainsaw and found some tall, white, arrowy pines near Walden Pond for the taking. As soon as I started sawing, a group of environmentalist ramblers from something called Greenpeace got in my face. Apparently, they were angry that I was killing trees. Ha! As if they know better than me about the forest! Well, did they ever live in the woods for two years, two months, and two days in a cabin they built themselves? Did they ever write so thoughtfully that their work became an American classic? Double ha! Perhaps they were jealous of my resourceful use of the land. Or my sick-ass beard.
