If Google’s Doomed Apps Suddenly Woke Up From Their Graves
Listen to their sad tales
This article was originally posted on my Substack, Humor Bytes.
Google has a knack for releasing a lot of new products every year in hopes that few of them might stick around. Yet most of them bite the dust quicker than you’d realize. Google’s list of discontinued apps and services is so huge that there’s a whole graveyard named after them.
Now that October 31st is almost here, some of those dead apps are coming out of their graves. Just to say a few words.
Google+
You all thought I’m like an Amazon Prime for Google Searches? I’d sincerely like to apologize for the confusion. And for the most boring name, you’ll ever see on a social network website. Also, I regret having forced you at gunpoint to sign me up. It was really lame since you were just checking emails or commenting on YouTube videos. Yes, I tried my best to compete with Facebook, yet just ended up being a “Circle” jerk.
Inbox By Gmail
Damn, what was my dad, Google, thinking? Did he bring me into the world only for competing with my super-successful sibling, Gmail? I won’t apologize to my users as some of them are still mourning the loss. After-all I gave them a UI that was just perfect and helped bundle their flight trips. But, hate you, dad. For ruining me!
Allo
Allo! Is anybody out there? When I arrived, all I wanted was to make you all chatty. Then I forgot to offer SMS features. I’d like to specifically apologize to my dearest friend, Hangouts. I’m sorry for letting you rot high and dry. Together, we could have demolished WhatsApp completely. However, I was too egoistic and wanted to capture the whole market by myself only. All said and done, we can now chill from our graves till eternity. Though, I hope our very few users could recover their chat histories.
Google Play Music
My demise has occurred only recently and I’m yet to be laid out in a coffin. I gave hopes to music lovers of an app that could purchase songs without subscriptions. While letting them also create their own song collections. Still, my dad ditched me for his new YouTube Music baby. Honestly, I’d like to tell you that YouTube Music is just another YouTube and not a music app in the truest sense. Once again, my dad wasn’t interested in providing life-time support to his own child. He’s only obsessed with gaining more video minutes and money. And is about to force you in paying premiums monthly.
