I’ll Waste Millions On Anti-Homeless Architecture, But I Cannot Spend A Penny On Free Housing
My policy makes perfect cents
My fellow citizens, it has not escaped my attention that we have a homelessness crisis in our city. Rather than choose to ignore it, I choose to do something to squash it.
While some would choose to pour millions of dollars down the drain in an effort to combat homelessness by building and maintaining free or affordable housing, I will not stand for such socialist nonsense. It is my full intent to spend roughly the same amount of money on building and maintaining architecture that discourages the homeless from experiencing any comfort at all.
I’m willing to spend elaborate amounts of time speaking out against brutalist architecture for being too socialist, while at the same time arguing for architecture so repulsive and uncomfortable that nobody will want to congregate around it.
By investing millions of dollars in anti-homeless architecture, we will enhance the aesthetics of our city, attracting people who want their town to have so many spikes and random pipes it looks increasingly like Bowser’s castle from Super Mario. Specifically the dystopian 1993 movie.
This will enhance the safety and well-being of our citizens, at least the ones…
