I’m a Door-to-Door Salesman on a Segway and I Know You’re Stoked I’m Here
You’ll be seeing a lot more of me now that the weather’s nice
Hey! Do you have a minute? HEL-LO!! I think you’re having trouble hearing me over your lawn mower — do you mind turning it off? Yeah, turn it off! Just real quick. Super IM-POR-TANT!
Whew, that’s better! Now we can hear each other.
How’s it going? What’s your name? How’s your day so far? … Oh, what am I doing here and why did I interrupt you in the middle of yardwork? Just wanted to exchange some pleasantries and get to know each other better before I sell you the sickest-ass pest control/alarm system/window installation service in the world.
Hey, is this your water? Mind if I have a swig? Get pretty parched cruising around the neighborhood. Why do I ride a Segway between each house even though I run ten miles every day? Why am I always a smug, twenty-something white man? It’s all part of the mystery, baby.
Oh, that’s also my Land Cruiser over there parked partially in your grass. You can just get that spot later. By the way, you should really try to make straighter lines when you’re mowing. I could show you if I weren’t so busy being a selling wizard.
