I’m Afraid I Can’t Process the Return for Your Used Monkey’s Paw
I wish I could help but it’s not my wish that matters here
Hello Mr. Mathews,
Thank you for writing to Curiosity Shoppe’s help desk. We’re here to make your dreams come true.
Unfortunately, due to very strict return guidelines, I cannot give you a refund for the Monkey’s Paw you purchased. Though you have not used it yet, you state the case’s seal is broken. This invalidates the 90-day return policy. I apologize for any inconvenience, Mr. Mathews. I hope you can still find enjoyment with your Monkey’s Paw.
Amy Scuttles, Customer Service Representative
Good morning Mr. Mathews,
Thank you for writing in again.
I understand that you’re feeling some level of anger over your failed first wish. Unfortunately, the Curiosity Shoppe is not responsible for product misuse. Surely the associate who sold you the rare oddity included the “Be careful what you wish for” rundown along with the standard ominous laugh before disappearing in a puff of smoke? It is company policy.
However even if she were derelict in her duties, the Monkey’s Paw does come with an ancient scroll of instructions attached to the sales receipt. It clearly states…
