I’m the Girl Next Door from Every TV Show and I Live to Serve Your Character Growth
Would you like some pie or a solution to your relationship woes?
Hello, Josh! Can I interest you in some pie? I couldn’t resist whipping one up this morning, it being such a fine day and all. Though to be honest, even if it wasn’t I’d still bake something. It’s so important to keep yummy treats at the ready in case one of my neighbor boys, like yourself, needs some wholesome comfort.
Is something bothering you, Josh? Don’t be shy. I’m more than a maker of delicious pastry. I can also lend a sympathetic ear and give healthy doses of no-nonsense advice. Seriously, I live to offer wisdom beyond your years. Usually relationship tips for all you silly boys in my neighborhood.
Or, alternatively, sometimes I provide a bit of juxtaposition. All you dudes fall for the worldly girl and need to be reminded that what you really need is a younger, hotter, version of your mother. Unless she’s not chill. In which case I can be the younger, hot, chill woman boys like you need at this juncture of your life.
You might not know it from these comfortable long dresses I wear, but when I wash my dad’s car in shorts and a tank top, I’m pretty conventionally sexy.
