Is it The New Smoking, The Old Kind, or just Smokin’ Hot?

A quiz

Photo by Christian Sterk on Unsplash

“Sitting is more dangerous than smoking, kills more people than HIV, and is more treacherous than parachuting. We are sitting ourselves to death…sitting is the new smoking.” -Dr. James Levine of the Mayo Clinic

The New Smoking: Thoughts and behaviors that are (allegedly) very, very bad for you

The Old Kind: Literally emitting smoke

Smokin’ Hot: e.g., Channing Tatum circa 2012

1. Spending over $1,000 on an electric sit-stand desk at which you only sit
2. A malfunctioning toaster from 2019 that you’ve decided to just put up with now that Bed, Bath & Beyond stores are kaput
3. Jeff Goldblum when you rewatch the 1996 film Independence Day in your late 30s
4. Stopping couples therapy and deciding you’ll just read Glamour articles about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s relationship for tips to save your marriage
5. Your pitch for a TV series starring Nicholas Hoult and Channing Tatum about that one time Peter the Great assembled a crackerjack team of serf strippers
6. What will happen if the aforementioned TV show is ever produced. (You’ll binge it all night as an act of revenge procrastination, along with just the sex scenes in Lady…