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I’ve Been Stealing From The Office Fridge For A Month, Here Is My Review

“The other diners are very judgmental.”

Kyrie Gray
Nov 8 · 3 min read

I’m aware you’re reading this site to find out more about this company before you apply. However while you’ll see many reviews about the culture, hours, and the benefits, no one is brave enough to tell the truth about the office fridge. That’s why I’m leaving this honest review on Glassdoor, in hopes that you choose another workplace, so you don’t end up dissatisfied with your lunch experience.

Venue: The office kitchenette

Score: B-

The small kitchen could best be described as linoleum-chic. With its classic black and white checkerboard pattern, there is nothing unique about the tiny, dimly-lit room.

Even more shockingly the fridge, which should be the focal point of the establishment, fails to inspire poetry in those who behold it. The off-white, (most likely due to age rather than intent) appliance forces one to have low expectations before diving into the specials of the day.

Food type: All varieties depending on who came to work that day

Score: B

I’d call the food consistently boring. Some of my coworkers ruin any chance of success for the office fridge with their lack of imagination. Carol has brought a turkey sandwich to work nearly every day.

Times are tough, I understand. But one truffle-butter mac and cheese wouldn’t kill you, Carol.

Gary’s lunch is the only one that actually excites me. Whenever I see his blue Tupperware my heart beats a little faster in anticipation. As a subscriber to some of the best food magazines, his masterpieces are fun and delicious, more suited for a dinner party than the sad 20-minute rushed affair that is all too common in the modern workplace.

Overall the cuisine is fine, but could be far better if a little extra effort (and spice) was given to the food preparation.

Ambience: Lack of seating and cranky co-workers make diners feel unwelcome

Score: C-

Unlike other women, I find solace in dining alone. Lately I’ve been forced to share a kitchen with at least one other workmate who constantly questions if the food I’m eating is, in fact, my own.

Because of this inquisition I am forced to eat far earlier than I’d like in order to savor flavors slowly, and without judgment. It truly is a crime to eat quickly and miss the hints of mocha hidden in Jen’s leftover meatloaf.

Service: First come, first steal

Score: F

Not only must I serve myself, but I also get chastised for doing so! If they expected me to save their food for them, they should have written their names in larger font! Or they could have used a padlock to make it clear that they didn’t want their food eaten by another. Some people will do anything to avoid taking responsibility for a bad review.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Freelancer, comedian, and illustrator. Writes humor, practical advice, and about life. Check out Jane Austen’s Wastebasket for most of my funny scribbles.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

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