Jane Austen Announces Her Kickstarter Campaign
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman author in the 19th century is in need of funds
Greetings gentle readers. I hope this message finds you well. Preferably as you begin your day with a full breakfast provided by your bountiful estate.
That is to say to say, I need you in good humor as beg you to bequeath me some of your fortune so that I may write another novel.
Due to circumstances outside my control, I do not have a wealthy family OR husband that I can rely upon. I realize now my character Elizabeth was rather cocky. Had I not matched her with fan favorite Mr. Darcy, I’m sure her own convictions might have wavered.
Men, I have discovered as I age, are not as attracted to intelligence as they are a large dowery. Or bosom. This goes double for many male publishers I’ve met.
Since I’ve neither fortune or breasts, I must throw myself at the mercy of crowdfunding.
Besides providing for the basics like food, shelter, bonnets, and writing instruments, the amount raised is going to help fund the first lady author’s salon.
Writing is a lonely business. I’ve longed for a group of women to sit and talk, as they say, shop with. Alas, most women use men’s names, so I am unclear to which author I may invite.
Can you imagine if I were to begin a discourse with a writer that turned out to actually be a gentleman? The scandal!
I suppose I could go to the teas hosted by those women who write those gothic novels…I just find that genre so overly dramatic. Not that they’d know my feelings. I kept Northanger Abbey to myself.
As a wise soul once said, “If you can’t say something nice, stick it in a novel and don’t let them publish it until after you’re dead.”
So if you can find it in your heart to donate to a worthy cause, please send what you can to my father’s home via post.
I shall be here waiting. Because where else would I go?
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