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Other Christmas Ghosts Whose Visit I Dread

The Ghosts of Past, Present, and Future get more publicity, but are they the scariest?

Kyrie Gray
Dec 6, 2019 · 3 min read

A Christmas Carol made its three ghosts instant celebrities. Their names are recognized by many. Yet, though one is pretty scary, I am not afraid of them. The ghosts I fear are much more related to my own relationship with the holiday.

Ghost of Christmas Mulled Wine

From the moment I started drinking I learned that hot drinks are inherently delicious. Mulled wine in particular is dangerously addictive. I’ve also discovered that it is easy to drink too much of the warm mixture and say too much at a party.

This ghost would bring me no comfort, only a reminder to stay away from that seductive drink. It would inevitably end up showing me a future in which I only have a house full of bottles to keep me company on Christmas.

Ghost of Christmas Last Minute Gifts

This ghost comes in form of a hastily rewrapped gift, its trailing ribbon frayed at the edges, representing the unwinding of friendships I’ve caused by trying to pass an old gift off as new. Or a random gift as something thoughtful. Just because you saw a squirrel together once, does not mean that person likes all things squirrel.

Can it be helped? The holiday of good cheer is also one of the busiest. Will the spirit show me the secret Santa party this Saturday? Will it show me Katie opening a candle that I’ve forgotten to take my name off of? I shudder to think what I might behold.

Ghost of Christmas Sales

OH DREADED VELVETEEN DRESS, HAUNT ME NO LONGER!

Not that this is what you would see. The haunt who represents our impulse buys can take many forms. What is that purchase that haunts you most? You don’t have to tell me. The ghost already knows.

Ghost of Christmas Movies I Pretended Not To Watch

The spirit takes the form of a bubbly heroine from a romantic comedy who clumsily drifts toward my bed. She’ll definitely break something but I can’t be angry. She’s just too charming. Yet she is angry.

For though I watch her and all of her sisters on numerous streaming services every year, I do not hesitate to make fun of the films while in public. After her visit maybe I shall redeem myself and loudly announce to the world that I watched Serendipity 4 times already.

Ghost of Sad Christmas Trees

It emerges from the darkness, barely illuminating the doorway with its measly three working lights. As it floats above me, I am forced to see it in all of its bleak, bare glory.

I must face the truth. I’ll never be able to fully commit to decorating a tree. Yet I know I’ve done wrong so should this ghost appear I am ready with extra popcorn to string across its branches should it pay me a visit.


Thanks for reading! How about you? What personal holiday ghost do you fear?

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

Kyrie Gray

Written by

Freelancer, comedian, and illustrator. Writes humor, practical advice, and about life. Check out Jane Austen’s Wastebasket for most of my funny scribbles.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

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