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Other Classic Execution Methods for Red States to Revive
Why stop at the firing squad?
by Katie Burgess and Alice M. Phillips (@alice_m_phillips)
The state of South Carolina executed a man by firing squad for the first time in its history. The state’s Republican-controlled court ruled that the firing squad “could not be considered cruel or unusual because prisoners had the option to choose from two other methods.” — New York Times
Old-school capital punishment has fallen out of favor, but if a prisoner chooses it, can it really be cruel? Here are more time-honored techniques for conservative lawmakers looking to provide their death row constituents with maximum opportunities:
Beheading
Decapitation isn’t just for wives who won’t produce male heirs. What better way to say, “Welcome back to monarchical rule” than by breaking out the old chopping block? This sentence is best carried out by sword or ax, though, as guillotines may excite the wrong people.
Drowning
A drowning pit (or “murder hole”) is traditional, but any body of water will suffice. Remember: upriver for baptisms; downriver for executions.
