Photo by Tran Mau Tri Tam ✪ on Unsplash

Our Rescue Would Love To Give You a Pet If You Are a Total F*cking Nobody

We’re looking for responsible pet parents, but mostly, people who have no other commitments to anything, anywhere.

Tara Jean O'Brien
3 min readJul 12, 2023

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Having a pet can add so much value to your life and we’re honored to be part of the journey of welcoming a new pet into your home. However, pet ownership is not easy and to prepare you for this commitment, neither is this process.

Please answer the following questions as best as you can so little Toots McMeow or Mr. Winkle can go home with you today!

  1. Do you have a job outside of the home? We believe your pet should be your only commitment once you become a pet parent. With the broad appeal of streaming, the popularity of food delivery services, and the fact that when it comes right down to it no one really likes you, rarely leaving the house should already be something that fits into your lifestyle.
  2. Describe your family and/or other people living in your home. Many candidates looking to adopt are married or have children and we understand and appreciate these situations. Children often take up an adult’s attention and a spouse can require the love and affection you could give someone like our adorable Shitzu, ‘Mao-Ze-Dog.’ We’re not telling you how to…

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Tara Jean O'Brien

Actor, Writer, Comedian, Podcaster, Enough Already. My first book, TIPS FOR YOUR LAST YEAR ON EARTH, avail on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or your local bookstore!