Quiz! Which March Sister are You?
And which weapon should you use on anyone who says you aren’t Jo?
Beth, Meg, Amy, and Jo: The Little Women stories have taught us that women have different goals and wanting to get married and start a family is just as legitimate as wanting to be a cool and famous writer. But just in case you think that idea is a dirty lie perpetuated by third-wave feminisim, this fun personality quiz will help you decide which March sister you are and which weapon to use on anyone who says you aren’t Jo.
- Someone destroys your art project. Do you:
A) Cry but forgive them.
B) Scream and cut off a chunk of the person’s luscious hair.
C) Shrug and start over.
D) Let the person (almost) drown under a frozen lake. (Almost!!)
2. Where’s your dream vacation?
A)The local beach
B) Europe
C) Europe
D) Europe
3. Your best friend confesses he loves you. What do you do?
A) Tell him you love him back! When can you start planning the wedding?
B) If he’s rich, go for it. If he’s poor, thank u, next.
C) Be so kind with your rejection that he doesn’t realize you rejected him.
D) Berate him for even suggesting such a thing. Can’t he see you two are bros?
4. You go to a party and the other girls give you a nickname. Do you:
A) Pretend it’s all in good fun but secretly find corners to cry in.
B) Burn their pretty dresses and then see who’s laughing.
C) Be so nice to them that by the end of the party they genuinely like you.
D) Make a dramatic revenge plan for each and every one of them.
5. Your best friend is getting married. How do you act at the wedding?
A) You’re happy for them. Like totally happy. The twitching of your temple is just from joy and NOT a jealous rage stroke waiting to happen.
B) Make a big dramatic announcement about your rich aunt taking you to Europe so you can become a famous painter which is obviously way cooler than getting married.
C) Volunteer to set the tables, seat guests, and mend her dress last minute.
D) Try to convince them to run away with you before the wedding and if that doesn’t work get sloppy drunk and rant to their weird cousin about what a poison marriage will be on your friendship.
If you got mostly A’s — Meg and a carving knife.
People see you as caring and maternal rather than independent and ambitious. Take a meat carving knife from the kitchen (where they all think you belong — and I mean, like, you like the kitchen, you just don’t want people to think that about you) and finish the job.
If you got mostly B’s — Amy and a wooden spear.
People see you as creative and ambitious but more in a calculating evil way than in a feminist spunky way. Show them just how cold and calculating you can be by driving a sharp wooden spear through their hearts and then painting their portrait as they slowly depart from the world — immortalizing the sweet revenge you’ll be taking on anyone who wrongs you.
If you got mostly C’s — Beth and hemlock.
You’re known for your kindness and humbleness rather than your creativity and sass. Use your piano prowess to lull anyone who says this about you to sleep and then pour hemlock down their throats to ensure no one ever makes this mistake again.
If you got mostly D’s — Jo.
Congratulations! Everyone sees you as the feisty heroine of yours and their lives. You don’t need to act on your sociopathic tendencies. All you need is a pen knife concealed in your petticoats to show off your writerly charm and keep it sharpened just in case someone accidentally calls you Amy.
