Member-only story
Realistic Responses to Suggestive Song Lyrics
Nelly: It’s gettin’ hot in here (so hot) / So take off all your clothes. Me: Or you could just let me turn the thermostat down.
“Give It to Me Baby”
Rick James: When I came home last night / You wouldn’t make love to me. / You went fast asleep / You wouldn’t even talk to me.
Me: It was three in the morning. You’re lucky I didn’t bite your hand off.
“Hot in Herre”
Nelly: It’s gettin’ hot in here (so hot) / So take off all your clothes.
Me: Or you could just let me turn the thermostat down.
“You Sexy Thing”
Hot Chocolate: Where you from, you sexy thing?
Me: Oh, so nice of you to ask! Columbus. The east side, to be specific. Have you been there? Not many people travel to Ohio unless it’s for work or to visit family, but it’s — oh, you’re gone.
“Beast of Burden”
Rolling Stones: All I want, for you to make love to me / I’ll never be your beast of burden.
Me: If you’re going to be dramatic about it, I’ll put the carry-on in the overhead bin myself.
