Santa’s Taking A Hard Line This Year & Other Christmas News

All the latest from the Yuletide grapevine

Looks like someone’s been naughty — and his little cat, too. (All illustrations: Mark Armstrong)

Be Good Or Be Gone

Santa’s taking a hard line this year. Long overdue, some would say.

Forget coal in your stocking. The elves are building guillotines in the toyshop. Gonna be a lotta heads in baskets under the tree this year. With nice red bows, of course.

Nobody’s worried, though. That’s because we know the naughty folks are the people who disagree with us. They’ve got it coming.

A Vacancy In A Pear Tree

We all enjoy singing The 12 Days Of Christmas. At least up to the 5 Golden Rings part. Then the urge to kill kicks in.

The song’ll be a little different this year because of an unfortunate incident at Macy’s. One of the employees, now an ex-employee, brought her cat to work. The rest, as they say is history.

On the plus side, you can now buy a pear tree with a bare spot for 75% off.

Have yourself a sticky little Christmas…

Gummy Gewgaws