Suggestions For My Ungrateful, Twenty-Five Year Old Son’s Media Studies Masters Thesis
Because if you’re studying on my dollar, the woman who raised you might as well chime in with her ten cents.
- Humanistic Hegemony Over Oceanic Spaces: Is Finding Nemo Complicit?
2. Class Inequality and the Illusion of Meritocracy in Titanic
3. Notes on Summer Camp: Susan Sontag’s Approach To Wet Hot American Summer
4. How To Not Respond to Mom’s Voicemails Even Though You Clearly Have the Attention Span to Analyze Ratatouille For Forty Pages
5. Capitalism and The Fetishization of Transnational Suffering in Trolls: World Tour.
6. The Elasticity of Queer Time in Back to the Future 2.
7. It Was Your Sister’s Birthday Last Weekend? Did you even call? Using Eve Sedgwick’s Epistemology of the Closet to Deconstruct She’s All That.
8. Queer-Femmes or Queer Femmebots? A Butlerian Analysis of Transformers: Age of Extinction
9. Foucault’s Panopticon Prison in The Shawshank Redemption … (you could have been an engineer, you know?)
10. Analyzing Historical Silences in The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari
11. Legally Blonde: Story of Woman Who Turns Upbeat Attitude and Brilliant Work Ethic Into Six Figure Job But is Buying Too Much Into Late Capitalist, Post-Modern, Neoliberalist Heterodoxy…Probably.
12. The Medium is The MewTwo: Redefining Our Collective Relationships with Pokémon Go
13. A Radical, Eco-Feminist Approach to Schitt’s Creek
14. A Radical, Eco-Feminist Approach to Not Calling When Your Father is Undergoing Hip Replacement Surgery
15. 2001: A Space Odyssey: The Commodification: of Colons
16. (500 Days of Summer): And yet you refuse to visit home even once during this period?
17. A Queer Reading of Brokeback Mountain (Not even that much work! You’d love it.)
18. Parasite as Autobiography
19. Get Out: Not an analysis. Your landlord has been taping flyers that say this around the apartment for the past ten days.
20. White Woman Feminism in The Devil Wears Prada
21. The Exploitation of American Exceptionalism in The Wolf of Wall Street
22. The Frankfurt School of Rock: The Industrialization of Music in Jack Black’s Filmography
23. Spirited Away: Just call me? For once? We paid so much money for this. I know you, David, I know it’s not too late. Just drop out and make a healthier decision. There’s the MBA program downtown that I know is still accepting new applicants until January. What about real estate? Your old English teacher, Mr. Nguyen, did you know he dropped out of education entirely and started his own firm? I bet you he is hiring still. Just send in a resume, anything but…
Oh God…please don’t make me say it…
Remember when you were young? You used to watch M*A*S*H and point at the screen and say… “That’s what I want to be!” Of course, I thought you were referring to becoming a doctor, not a film analyst…
Ugh…fine, I’ll say it…
24. Mean Girls as Zionist Allegory.
