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Bible Book Covers That Reflect Your Love For The Lord And The Doomed Trajectory Of Your Marriage

Strike fear into the hearts of onlookers (but mostly Rachel)

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket
4 min readOct 15, 2019

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The Martha

This soft summer Bible book cover shrug is a pleasing shade of petunia pink. Some might call it a little flirty, but it still offers appropriate coverage for church. With its durable, double-stitched side zipper, you can rest assured that no page décolletage will pop out at an inopportune time — like when the handsome, new pastor (who happens to be your husband) delivers the homily.

The Leah

Every God-fearing woman should have a Leah in their Bible book cover closet. Leah is a practical, durable, double polyblend book cover-pant, in a sensible taupe, with a generous inseam to accommodate even the thickest binding. Leah will remind everyone that you have successfully birthed six children, always defer to the ESV formal equivalence over the NIV dynamic equivalence, are super well-organized, and would make a fantastic lead Sunday School teacher.

Photo by Olivia Snow on Unsplash

The Mary Magdalene

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Ashley Pryor Geiger
Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Ashley Geiger is an improvisor and humor writer from Toledo, Ohio. She studies satire and sketch writing at The Second City.