The 12 Stages of a Book Hangover

When a book is so good, you can’t help but spiral when it ends

Photo by Siora Photography on Unsplash

1. Hate yourself for finishing the book so damn fast. You knew better. You know yourself enough to know emotionally diving into a 48-hour book coma would result in the despair you’re currently feeling.
2. Get actually drunk so your real hangover will mask the sense of loss consuming all of your brain cells. The $12 vodka will numb the pain.
3. Write a haiku called Despair

Oh beautiful book

How I miss you so very much

Mourn you forevermore

4. Spend Saturday brunch with the girls replaying your favorite scenes in your head. Excuse yourself from the post-brunch Farmer’s market because your heart has a gaping hole that can only be soothed by burrito-ing yourself in bed.

5. Stare at your bookshelf every hour wondering if another book with ease the pain but never actually pick up a new book because it will feel like you’re cheating on the book you just finished. Plus rebound books never quite measure up.

6. Angrily reply to everyone on Goodreads who gave the author anything less than four stars. How dare they defame a literature angel!