The Gnat’s Manifesto
An inspirational speech for gnats
Alright, gnats! Listen up. We’ve got a long day ahead of us, but our mission remains the same —
To smack into things!
Sir George Gnat! I saw your moves yesterday by the pond. The way you pelted yourself into those unsuspecting lovers on their park bench, just hurling into them as they tried admiring the moon— it was beautiful.
And Regina Gnat, your attack of that poor dog walker’s ear, again and again, no matter how much you were swatted away — it brought tears to my eyes.
Take note, fellow gnats. This is what true dedication looks like.
But even with these small triumphs, we must not get cocky. For our greatest battle begins today. Yes, it’s finally arrived…The last day of summer.
The warmth shall soon fade, and with it we — but let’s give the humans hell before we go! They plan to enjoy their barbecues, picnics, and other outdoor activities.
Not on our watch!
We’re going to smack into every last one of them. We’re going to smack into them, smack into their food, smack into their loved ones, and maybe even smack into their souls.
“But General Gnat,” you’re thinking. “How can we smack into EVERYTHING??”
