This Diet Gave Me the Figure and Temperament of a Siren
Unlike other trendy diets, this diet is a lifestyle that you cannot reverse
Before trying the Siren’s Secret diet, I was merely a mortal unaccustomed to preying on the lives of innocent sailors. I’ve tried so many diets and none have allowed me to eat what I want to eat, while singing haunting laments on craggy rocks. That is, until I found the Siren’s Secret diet.
Ever since I was a teenager, I would look at sirens in magazines and wonder: how could I possibly achieve that half-bird, half-human body that men crave so much? Fad dieting and fitness trends left me with a boring, unattractive human body. I could write an epic on how much I wanted to trade my legs for a sexy siren tail.
And that’s exactly what I did!
Joining was so simple. When I arrived at the sirens’ island, I followed the trail of corpses, recited my poem at the entrance of their cave, and handed over $599.99. They sang about upgrading my membership to the premium level that includes a personal vocal coach for only $100 more. I was totally transformed. Who could say no to such a great deal?
From there, my meal plan started with a Mermaid Shake for breakfast. It fights off sugar cravings while expressing a siren’s anger for being…
