Thoreau On Boredom
A Crushing Dearth of Stimulation is Quite Stimulating, I Assure You
To All Interested Parties,
It is my understanding that the public is quite taken with my residence on Walden Pond, and eager for my gestating book about same. Some even question whether this life could be rewarding for anyone, let alone a mind such as mine.
Well, allow me to allay your concerns and assure you that I AM happy here at Walden. Totally happy. I love it. It’s good. Goin’ great. I could not be happier, and I did try to be even happier, but I failed and it didn’t happen, because as I said, I’m just as happy as could be. Mhmm.
And if you are unconvinced, dear reader, I will describe to you a mere day in the life of Thoreau on Walden pond, if you please. Take today, for example: I was blessed with the opportunity to gaze upon the natural splendor of the pond. For ten straight hours! Again! And each day is more the same than the last! Which is WONDERFUL!
It is so unlike the city, where each day brings fun new sights and sounds! I had come to say “Ugh, get out of there with all that excitement!” I HATE that. So much so that, when some friends trekked out to pay me a visit it was quite the effective jest when I gripped them by the shoulders and begged them to take me with them back to town before the yawning void of boredom consumed me! Indeed, I had to explain the joke which, you will know, quite ruined it.
Because of course the truth is that I HAVE to- I mean, GET to, stay here to finish the book I am contractually obligated to deliver to my publisher about life on Walden pond! And nothing could please me more.
Which is not to say all I have to do here is write, far from it! I have this intensely stimulating game I like to play. It’s a rock I found! I gaze upon it and say, what’s up with that!
And I enjoy the company of my pet bird! She is not here presently, having decamped some weeks ago, but I write her letters that I place in the bottom of her cage when, as she surely will, she returns with many new bird friends for me to play with!
And I make coffee! This is one of my favorite things here! I build a fire in the stove! All you can do whilst chopping wood is chop wood, and wonder what’s afoot in the CITY with your fun friends! And the coffee keeps me alert instead of sleeping all day! Sometimes I drink the coffee too fast and burn my tongue. Following the healing process of my mouth burns is the highlight of my day, and sometimes I scald myself on purpose, to feel anything! Which is glorious. And just think: in town I would have thought I was MAD.
And perhaps you, as my aforementioned visitors, will be concerned that I am NOT ok. Well, it may be that I have struggled out here- a little- but I have indeed found the meaning of life, which I shall be glad to give you a taste of now even before the book’s publishing: Imagine a tree branch. The branch is like man. It starts small, and weak. Then it becomes big, and strong. Eloquent in its simplicity, is it not? At least, the branch THINKS it’s strong! “I’m a smart, resilient branch”, it says, “I can live alone at Walden Pond and write a book, no problem!” BUT IN THE END, LIFE BREAKS YOU!
Please, come to Walden Pond and save me, I am coming apart! I can’t do this! I can’t do this! YOU HAVE TO COME HERE NOW NOW NOW NOW
…I mean, if you care to. To hear of my tranquil, simple ways. Haha.
Yours,
Henry Thoreau.
