Thoughts I Have While at the Bookstore
What to read? What to read?
Time to pick out a new book! Ooooh look it’s a pair of fluffy book-themed socks. No! This is not why I’m here. Focus.
I can’t go wrong with a classic like Beowulf. Let me just read a few pages to see if I like it. How does anyone understand the language in this book? It’s written in like medieval English. I need to buy a dictionary just to get through the first page. Wow, I really am not as smart as I thought I was.
I wish this book seller would go away. I am doing perfectly fantastic. I don’t need their help. Why can’t they just let me browse in peace? I bet they think I’m some simpleton who’s never read a book before. Probably because I put down a classic.
Shoot. How do I already have five books picked out? This isn’t the library. I have to pay for these suckers and I definitely don’t need another payment plan. I can’t make such an investment when I haven’t even paid off my car! Why is knowledge so expensive?
Alright, let’s just put some of these back. Shoot! That same employee who asked me if I needed help is looking at me again. Judging me. Ok, just stroll away. I’m just strolling. They don’t know I can’t afford these books. Is she gone? Finally, let’s dump these over here with all the cheap paperbacks.
A book about a murderer huh? I could read this. Wait. What if I read this and then I become a murderer? No, no, no. What if there is a murder in town and that nosy bookseller tells the cops about my interest in the subject right before it happened and I become the main suspect? Going to put this down and dodge that bullet.
Oh, this book actually seems pretty interesting. But it’s only 150 pages. That’s gonna last me like one night. I am not here for a fling. I don’t want to just wine and dine this book, I need a long term relationship. That employee will think I’m some kind of book slut, always moving on to the next quickie.
Screw it! I’ll just order something off Amazon. Employees like that are why bookstores are dying. At least Bezos won’t rat me out to the police if I buy a few Ted Bundy books.
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