What to Bring to Your Local Witch Burning Event
Behold the horrors in comfort and style
It’s springtime in 1692 and witch-burning season is ON!
You know what that means. It’s time to gather in your town square to gawk as local harlots are burned at the stake.
Get outside and mingle with your fellow Puritans, but be prepared so you don’t miss any of the action.
Here’s my handy guide on what to bring to the festive occasion.
Spyglass
Unless you get there super early, you’ll end up in the back of the crowd. You do NOT want to miss the look on the witches’ faces when the constable reads their crimes aloud.
Use a spyglass to see if you can detect their guilt with these dead giveaways:
- Lowering head
- Sweating
- Blinking
- Vehemently denying the charges
- Denying the charges at all
- Being female
Bible
The constable will likely ask each witch to read a passage from the Bible. Everyone knows true evil spirits are incapable of quoting it. Use your own Bible to fact-check!
