Where Are They Now? The Things That Went Missing and Contained Clues in Nancy Drew Books Edition

Remember the Wooden Lady?

Aubrie Williams
Oct 25, 2020 · 4 min read
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All Images by: Shaun Kreider/Kreider Designs @kreiderdesigns

We all know that after getting bored of being a super-sleuth, Nancy Drew retired to Martha’s Vineyard with her husband Ned Nickerson. But what about the items that went missing or contained clues, like the HAUNTED STEAMBOAT or THE WOODEN LADY? What have THEY been up to? Luckily for you, I did some sleuthing of my own, and you WON’T BELIEVE what they’re doing now!

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FIRE DRAGON

Who could forget the unusual hand-painted Fire Dragon on the lower right corner of the stationary Chi Che Soong used in her plea for help? Immediately after Nancy solved the mystery, the Fire Dragon couldn’t handle the fame and ended up on Season 3 of Celebrity Rehab. Eventually, Dr. Drew (a third cousin of Nancy’s) helped Fire Dragon change her wild ways, and she’s now a life coach and frequent guest on Dr. Drew After Dark.

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HAUNTED STEAMBOAT

After steamboating its way into the hearts of America, the Haunted Steamboat, AKA the River Princess, joined forces with Fangoria to start a Haunted Party Cruise in Philadelphia every October. Leaving from Dave and Busters, this spooky-fun-time-ship travels up and down the Delaware River and has starred in remakes of of Chucky, The Bride of Chucky, and The Seed of Chucky!

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THE WOODEN LADY

This beautiful Wooden Lady was eventually returned to the Bonny Scot with the help of N.D. After all of the buzz around her, The Wooden Lady couldn’t leave her house without wood-framed sunglasses (which TBH didn’t do much because it’s pretty hard to miss a Wooden Lady in the Boston Harbor). She ended up embracing the fame Nancy caused her and opened a museum in Salem that featured all wooden celebrity figures. It got so big that she hosts her own annual Wooden Celeb Convention, and was featured on The Ellen Show! Rumor has it that next years big convention guest will be Elijah Wood, even though he’s human.

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SPIDER SAPPHIRE

Poor old Floyd Ramsay was accused of stealing this beautiful gem from East Africa, almost preventing Nancy from going on an adventurous Safari! But since NOTHING stops Nancy Drew, the Spider Sapphire was eventually returned and thrust into the public eye. Not wanting the newfound fame, Spider Sapphire moved from the museum to a log cabin in the woods- but it wasn’t long before the meddling Paparazzi found her. She ended up falling in love with a photographer for TMZ, and embraced the spotlight as his muse. Together they’ve published 5 Fan Zines and written a book all about embracing their journey titled When Life Gives You Spider Sapphires.

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WITCH TREE SYMBOL

Remember that time that a mysterious Witch Tree Symbol led Nancy to Pennsylvania Dutch Country, and the Amish thought she was a witch? What a comedy of errors! After Nancy left, the Witch Tree Symbol became somewhat of a local Celeb and opened a Smorgasbord called Witchin’ Good Buffett. Since Witch Tree Symbols have never been known to be great at spelling, his unfortunate mistake led to a lawsuit with Jimmy Buffett. Never one to back down, Witch Tree Symbol ended up changing the name to “Witchin’ Away Again in Amishville”- a subtle and clever way to say, “Screw you” to Mr. Island Escapism himself!

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THE BLACK KEYS

It was the three Black Keys that led Nancy and Professor Terry Scott to buried treasure in Mexico, and it’s no surprise that after being inspired by N.D. to shoot for the stars, the Black Keys ended up in Akron, Ohio. THAT’S RIGHT- the same Black Keys from the Nancy Drew mystery are award-winning blues-rock band The Black Keys! Even though they helped her find treasure, it’s clear to see that she set them free.

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Thanks to Kyrie Gray

Aubrie Williams

Written by

Comedian/writer in Philly, & member of sketch groups ManiPedi & Goat Rodeo. Co-creator of King Friday Productions with Shannon DeVido.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

Aubrie Williams

Written by

Comedian/writer in Philly, & member of sketch groups ManiPedi & Goat Rodeo. Co-creator of King Friday Productions with Shannon DeVido.

Jane Austen’s Wastebasket

Humor inspired by the literature, history, and other non-lucrative college courses

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