White Noise Machine Settings Designed to Keep Socially Anxious People Up at Night
These sounds are sure to fill you with existential dread
Crowded Room of People Dressed in Formal Wear
The low hum of movers and shakers mingling and engaging in insipid small talk is the perfect soundscape for the socially anxious person wanting to lie in bed for hours and stare at the ceiling while reliving past humiliations at office parties and high school proms.
Remember that time you decided you were going to try to fit in so you loitered around groups of normal people chatting, a creepy smile plastered on your face, until they noticed you hovering and you ran away and hid in the corner?
If you didn’t before, you do now.
Gym Locker Room
The slamming of locker doors punctuates the persistent spray of the shower and creaking of benches, recalling distant memories of forced public nudity, and, even more hauntingly, terrifying horseplay.
When the towel snapping starts, are you supposed to respond in kind? Laugh boisterously and unleash a withering verbal retort, perhaps? If only there was an opportunity to game out possible scenarios in advance so that those irredeemably…
