Your Black Cat’s Terms for Agreeing to Participate in Halloween

No, you can not take a picture of me in a pumpkin

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I, your black cat, will agree to participate in Halloween activities with you (the person who refuses to let me outside after dark) based on the following terms:

COSTUMES:

Costumes I refuse to wear include bat wings, capes, or tiny witch hats. Things attached to me make me think I am being attacked by a predator and trigger my NZR (Natural Zoomies Response).

Acceptable costumes include any festive collars featuring pumpkins, ghosts, or tiny mouse skulls.

INTERNET PHOTOGRAPHY:

I agree to non-humiliating photos of me being posted on your social media accounts. You agree to at least using the “retouch” button on any photos and ideally applying a flattering filter.

Examples of photos I will not agree to include:

• Me being placed inside a giant pumpkin.
• Me being placed inside a plastic cauldron while wearing a tiny witch hat.
• Doctored photos depicting me riding on a broom.

Photos that will be tolerated include:

• Me sitting near several tiny pumpkins.