Your Overuse of the Grin-Sweat Emoji Has Me, Your Doctor, Worried
There is no cure for your nervous texting style
It’s been twelve months since your last physical, and I think that it’s time you came in. I’ve been getting the texts you’ve been sending ever since our clinic instituted HealthSMS, and I feel it is my duty to share my concerns with you about your overuse of the grin-sweat emoji (also known as “sweat-smile emoji” or “phew emoji”).
Your first text did not raise any alarms. But it left me confused.
I assumed it was a typo and that you meant to use a more appropriate emoji like the masked-face emoji or vomit-face emoji. I’ll admit, the mild exasperation the image expressed made me chuckle. Yet, again, I thought it had been unintentional.
We arranged an appointment, and I gave you some preliminary instructions. You then sent another text.
This time I knew the emoji was not a mistake, but this only increased my concern. The context of the text had made it clear that you were being ironic. So why add both the grin-sweat emoji and the “haha,” particularly when the “haha” was doing the same rhetorical work as the emoji?
I conferred with my colleagues. One suggested vasculitis, which was rapidly discounted. Another held out hope that you…
