Zeus Finally Fired Due To Sex Scandals
Even the Gods are fed up
Dear Zeus,
We regret to inform you that your services are no longer needed on Mount Olympus. We are aware that this news may cause you grief. Yet we also know this news can’t come as a shock, based on your past behavior.
There have been several complaints leveled against you due to your treatment of women here on Mount Olympus and across Greece. Most of these grievances we have discussed with you on several occasions. Please refrain from god-splaining the situation to us. Taking a woman against her will is never justifiable for any reason.
It does not matter if you come in the form of wind, light, or a swan, your advances are unwelcome.
Because of your “dalliances” Mount Olympus has become a toxic work environment. Females, both mortal and immortal, don’t feel safe around you. Worse still, the other male gods are emboldened your behavior.
No one will even participate in Bring Your Maiden Daughter to Work Day after the Persephone incident! As it is we can only get Demeter to work 6 months of the year. You’re lucky she settled so cheaply, she could demanded a lot more sacrifices for the stunt you and your brother pulled.
