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Thanks to Rumble, I’m the Hero My Quiet Suburb Deserves

Thanks to Rumble, I’m the Hero My Quiet Suburb Deserves

There’s danger lurking around every corner according to the Nextdoor group
Go to the profile of Sarah Yosef
Sarah Yosef
An Open Letter to the Animal Crossing Player Who Abandoned Me

An Open Letter to the Animal Crossing Player Who Abandoned Me

Are you there, Jane? It’s me, Jane.
Go to the profile of Desiree Brown
Desiree Brown
My Mother Rates My Hobbies Based on How Much They Disappoint Her

My Mother Rates My Hobbies Based on How Much They Disappoint Her

“Do your hobbies pay your rent?”
Go to the profile of Just Norah
Just Norah
A Midcentury Socialite’s Advice for Modern Aspiring Socialites

A Midcentury Socialite’s Advice for Modern Aspiring Socialites

From debutante to guru
Go to the profile of Michael Vincent Mangano
Michael Vincent Mangano
I Said Yes to the Dress and Now I’m on Trial for Murder

I Said Yes to the Dress and Now I’m on Trial for Murder

My favorite TV show destroyed my life
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Flight To Nowhere: A ‘Spirit Airline Experience’ Proposal

Flight To Nowhere: A ‘Spirit Airline Experience’ Proposal

For our best customers with nowhere to go and all day to get there
Go to the profile of Sue E OConnor, MD
Sue E OConnor, MD
Your Favorite Oligarch’s Favorite Oligarch: Every Industry Has Its Icons

Your Favorite Oligarch’s Favorite Oligarch: Every Industry Has Its ...

We all need someone to look up to.
Go to the profile of Stephanie Redmond
Stephanie Redmond
14 Reluctant Ways to Celebrate the 4th of July

14 Reluctant Ways to Celebrate the 4th of July

When you’ve lost faith in your country but you still want hot dogs
Go to the profile of Maria Cassano
Maria Cassano
You Only Live Once, But You’re on Facebook Forever

You Only Live Once, But You’re on Facebook Forever

Introducing Meta Mediums™
Go to the profile of Rebeca Dunn Krahn
Rebeca Dunn Krahn
Greek Myths Updated for Modern Times

Greek Myths Updated for Modern Times

Classic Greek mythology would look very different if it took place today
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Types of Pasta Ranked by How Well They’d Do in a Corporate Job Interview

Types of Pasta Ranked by How Well They’d Do in a Corporate Job Inte...

Al dente, all business
Go to the profile of Aarushi Ahuja
Aarushi Ahuja
Reviewing My Wife’s Latest Online Purchases

Reviewing My Wife’s Latest Online Purchases

I am a devoted husband who knows what’s best for my lady
Go to the profile of Steffany Ritchie
Steffany Ritchie
I Hope You’ll Be Comfortable in My Guest Room Even Though I’ve Made that Impossible

I Hope You’ll Be Comfortable in My Guest Room Even Though I’ve Made...

My home is your anxiety-inducing nightmare
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Rating My Coworkers’ Excuses for Missing My Wedding

Rating My Coworkers’ Excuses for Missing My Wedding

You expect me to believe you were attacked by bears?
Go to the profile of Amarie Skrzyp
Amarie Skrzyp
It’s Hard for Me, a King, to Find a Second Wife Who Won’t Murder My Children

It’s Hard for Me, a King, to Find a Second Wife Who Won’t Murder My...

I’m want a second chance on love but also zero chance of my kids mysteriously dying.
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Quiz: Is Your Family Trying to Kill You?

Quiz: Is Your Family Trying to Kill You?

How many more of your mother’s nightly Jeopardy! recaps can you endure before you run away from home?
Go to the profile of Liz Alterman
Liz Alterman
In An Effort To Curb Your Erratic Sleep Behavior, I Am Drawing An Imaginary Line Down The Middle Of…

In An Effort To Curb Your Erratic Sleep Behavior, I Am Drawing An I...

Help me help you help me get some sleep
Go to the profile of Aaron Chown
Aaron Chown
I’m a Magic Bottomless Bag and I’m Tired of Carrying the British People’s Emotional Baggage

I’m a Magic Bottomless Bag and I’m Tired of Carrying the British Pe...

Reach inside me all you want, you’ll never be an empire again.
Go to the profile of Caleb Coy
Caleb Coy
I’m the Grillmaster for Our Memorial Day Party, My Wife Does Everything Else

I’m the Grillmaster for Our Memorial Day Party, My Wife Does Everyt...

An equal division of duties, at least for me.
Go to the profile of Richie Zaborowske
Richie Zaborowske
12 Possible Reasons Why You Abandoned Your Shopping Cart in the Middle of the Parking Lot

12 Possible Reasons Why You Abandoned Your Shopping Cart in the Mid...

Some people must have truly legitimate reasons to not put that cart away
Go to the profile of Kyrie Gray
Kyrie Gray
Name That Cramp! A New Gameshow You Don’t Want to Play But Have to Anyway

Name That Cramp! A New Gameshow You Don’t Want to Play But Have to ...

How well do you know your uterus?
Go to the profile of Julia Wolov
Julia Wolov
Acceptance Speech for the Film Where Bradley Cooper Pretends to Be a Sheep

Acceptance Speech for the Film Where Bradley Cooper Pretends to Be ...

Some actors take method acting too far
Go to the profile of Sara Nicole
Sara Nicole
Hernán Cortés leaves a Google Review of the Aztec Empire

Hernán Cortés leaves a Google Review of the Aztec Empire

And let’s just say: it’s a bit of a burner
Go to the profile of Calvin Stevens
Calvin Stevens
The True Lives Behind Those Celebrity Author Bios

The True Lives Behind Those Celebrity Author Bios

Outing writers who impress readers with their fictional lifestyles
Go to the profile of Thomas Pease
Thomas Pease
Ares Rates His Favorite Wars

Ares Rates His Favorite Wars

All’s fair in love and war when you’re messing with your dad
Go to the profile of Aaron Chown
Aaron Chown
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