#101 Snow days

Winter is something that I was dreading since the day Janne died. There are a few things she managed on her own. Besides school, winter activities was another one. It makes sense as I grew up in a place where just 17 degrees Celsius (63 Fahrenheit) means it’s cold. Yesterday, it was -8 (18 F).

As I knew that the boys would want it, I started preparing well in advance. I bought their winter boots in September. I found proper snow proof gloves already two months ago, so long ago that Trevor forgot he had them. I hadn’t yet found snow pants. I did a bit of research and got them on Saturday.

I had a realization. This is the first time that Janne or I have bought this particular size of pants for Trevor. They are almost my height. He is growing. Janne never got to see that size, but she bought clothes in three other sizes for him this year. Daniel’s growth spurt will come later. It’s symbolic, exciting, and yet sad.

Janne was always happy when the snow would arrive. She would take the boys to slide down a hill not so far from home. Sometimes, she would meet her friends and their kids there. Every year, she would find new sleds for them. I have a couple in our storage room that were probably used once or twice as the boys didn’t really like them.

If there was a chance, I would come with them, but just as an observer. Janne would be sliding down with them until two years ago. Last year, I was still bringing them if I had a chance, but she couldn’t make it very often as it depended on her chemotherapy.

There was that time when they went skiing not so far from here. I came with them and became the boys’ assistant while Janne was plunging ahead. It was a fun day even if I was the one who ended up doing the most exercise: push up the first boy up the hill, run down, push the other one up. Running in the snow is not a sport I signed up for, but I made it.

Yesterday, they went sliding for a couple of hours in our usual hill. Daniel had a friend with him as he always does. Trevor was doing his usual experiments. It was a successful day even if every success is colored with a bit of loss now.

As for me, I’m already preparing in advance for the next challenge.