#110 Gratitude
When I was reading about depression, I learned that being grateful is good for us. This has a scientific basis and might be as good as medications. I have practiced this along my life, but even more after 2017. This time is a good moment to reflect on what I have.
I am grateful for having two boys who are a mirror image of Janne in many ways. Day by day, I notice something new in them which reminds me that they carry Janne’s DNA.
We have shelter. Every single corner of our home was remodelled exactly the way Janne wanted it. She is present every day here.
I work for a very empathetic company. Besides providing me with our sustenance, I have colleagues and friends around who I have counted on since the beginning of our tough times.
The country where we live is the most efficient place without bureaucracy to deal with. I know that this is hard to see if you live outside Estonia. Having lived in seven countries, I can tell you that nothing compares to how easy it is to live in here.
The boys are in a school that truly helps them. The system seems to be built to protect them. They have friends who care about them. It’s safe for them to be on their own anywhere. They eat and sleep well.
I have friends. I have a few people in Estonia who I can count on in case of a problem, and several abroad who constantly check on me and have video calls with me. They make my day every single time.
I have found a new tribe focused on writing. I feel so good among them.
I am smart enough to understand what I’m going through, and also be practical to continue living our lives. More importantly, I am taking decisions every day. Most of the decisions are good while some probably are questionable, but I don’t regret any of them.
I am thankful about having no regrets in my life with Janne. I took advantage of every minute with her since the beginning. I know what she wanted. We managed to talk difficult things such as our kids, our will and testament, our logistics, our house. It gives me peace.
Moreover, I am grateful to have met Janne when I did. And I feel very thankful that my time with her was so full of life. I wish for everyone to love as good as we loved each other.
