#130 To Build a Home
In the Summer of 2019, I noticed that one of the outside wooden columns seemed rotten. This house was built for rental and, until we bought it, it hadn’t had a permanent resident in 14 years. Because of that, there were some issues with the construction. We didn’t mind.
This project went in a few weeks from a single column to a full plan for redoing our whole house. This was typical of Janne. She’d start with something small, but she had no idea of how much stamina she had for the long run. I did know that and made sure to procure enough money for her and us.
Janne was a very insecure person. When we bought the house, some people (with no clear intentions) would critique our choices. I didn’t care much as I was certain of our decisions. When some specific individuals would do it, Janne would start doubting herself. This could bring her down for several days. No one saw that except me. My job was to lift her spirit again.
This house was the project where she demonstrated to herself and others of her potential. Once we talked about the goal of redoing it, she poured herself into imagining every detail. She found a contractor she could talk with and started the process of thinking, drawing, researching, choosing. I let her do everything she wanted. At the same time, she started asking about my wishes. USB and Ethernet ports in every room? You got it. Dimmable LED lights? Of course.
Janne would draw her ideas in squared paper. I was looking for some of those drawings, but couldn’t find any, except the design she left for my guitar stand. I remember that our perfectionist carpenter told her that no customer had given them such good-quality drawings. I had to search her e-mail and found a few to confirm I wasn’t dreaming. I told her she could do it for a living (she didn’t believe me).
In completing this, her last project, Janne felt satisfied. I saw her at her happiest. Our home is still cozy even if it’s massively incomplete. Each corner and each light switch had her touch. She still lives here.
And I built a home
For you, for me
Until it disappeared
From me, from you
And now, it’s time to leave
And turn to dust
“To Build a Home” by The Cinematic Orchestra
