#146 On borrowed time

One year ago, we made an impromptu trip to Lanzarote. The Canary Islands were our refuge. We didn’t hold back for this trip as we were living on borrowed time.

When Janne was diagnosed, she received a cutting-edge treatment. It wasn’t yet approved in Europe, but her doctor did all the paperwork so Janne could get it directly from the pharmaceutical company. I read about it and knew that it could be successful, but only certain percent of patients had a positive response.

Janne had just received the last good news in her life: the cancer had reduced slightly in size. There was still hope. She wouldn’t have to go weekly for her chemotherapy session for now. Even though this was helping, those chemicals destroy the body together with the disease.

Lanzarote is an interesting place. After being a fertile land, they had several volcano eruptions barely 300 years ago. That event destroyed a good part of the island. It made it unrecognizable. There was famine and drought. People had to leave in troves.

Yet, after all of what happened, this island is alive again. It is not the same as it was, but in a sense, it’s better. It still bears all the scars reminding everyone of the disasters that happened and that could happen again. However, there was an artist called César Manrique who helped transform what could have been. He engaged with locals and committed to protect the island as it was. It became unique.

This became our favorite island. We devoured a book while there about its history, the disaster, the recovery. We even talked about how it would be to live there. It’s different to all other typical tourist destinations. Here, there is a sense of balance, peace, reflection and creativity. This trip was meant to be.

Today, just a year away since this perfect trip, the eruption in our lives is still going on. Sometimes, I feel that Janne died just yesterday and this is on a good day. On a bad day, Janne is dying right now.

Same as Lanzarote, I know we will be different, but better. We will carry proudly the scars in our heart, but we will find balance, peace, reflection and creativity in our lives. And we won’t hold back: we are also living on borrowed time.