#169 Oh Such A Spring
Spring arrived early in Estonia. Usually we’d have cold weather, snow, and a few more weeks of winter. Seasons in Estonia don’t work like in the rest of the world.
I walked out of the house. Under one of the trees in the garden, I spotted a snowdrop flower (in Estonian, they call them “snow bells”). Janne would always get excited when the first ones would come out. They were messengers telling us that Spring is almost here.
I took a look at pictures from one year ago. The ground was fully covered with fresh snow, the sun was shining, and my own snow beauty was still here. We were chatting outside the house. I decided to take photos right there and then. Janne started posing for me with funny faces. I can’t believe it’s one year. She was so beautiful.
Spring flowers were always special for Janne. I recall when I took a photo of her next to some flowers in Hamburg. Every time that Spring would arrive and flowers would be around, she’d be happy. She wanted to send this photo to the grandmother she loved. I had to look for this to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. I remember that time when we went to St. Stephen’s Green in Dublin and I made a happy picture of her.
Spring is supposed to be a time for renewal, for being born again. In a sense, we are accomplishing this. We are in renewal, trying to be alive again in many areas of our lives. The truth is that my heart will be forever divided. One side feels like starting to beat again with the excitement of what’s coming. The other side will stay in a permanent Winter.
One year ago, Janne and I had our last month free of trouble. She was happy and was about to embark on a trip to London with friends. We talked about a possible trip to Japan. We were planning to go to Guatemala. Our chats didn’t show any indications that we were concerned. Our messages are full of jokes and funny videos. I told her that she looked so beautiful and classy in that photo she made of herself at the gym.
But this would be our last Spring.
The noise of the town
The salt in the air
It plays all around but I no longer care
And I wish I could go back to spring again
Oh, such a spring
(“Oh Such A Spring” by Fontaines D.C.)
