#173 Lighthouse
I pondered recently if I should stop posting publicly what I write for Janne. I told a close friend about it and she immediately said, “no, you have to continue”. I thought after that conversation that the role I have now is to be a lighthouse, a beacon, making you realize of the way ahead.
My brother told me during his last trip to Estonia a profound thought he had. We meet approximately every four years because of the distance. If you take into account our life expectancy, say 70 years in my case, this means that I will be meeting him just about 4 or 5 more times in my lifetime. We have to make the best out of every time we meet.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American poet, wrote: “If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore; and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! But every night come out these envoys of beauty, and light the universe with their admonishing smile”. Who are the stars in your life?
Recently I saw a beautiful post by Aaron Bleyaert: “Because we don’t know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. Yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can’t even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, five times more, perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps 20. And yet it all seems limitless”. This was written by Paul Bowles, an American musician and writer. I am starting to read “The Sheltering Sky” where this quote comes from.
Since I met Janne, my philosophy was always “life is short”. I never let time go by without telling her what she meant to me. I told her every sacred thought I had about her: I loved her and she knew it. This is one of the most comforting thoughts in the middle of this overwhelming grief.
Are you letting people you love know how you feel about them? Are you letting nothing get on your way? Are you there by their side?
