#182 Don’t Swallow The Cap

In 2017, I started jogging. My aid was a playlist that I created with the music speed to guide my steps. A song that would kick in right in the middle of my run was “Don’t Swallow The Cap” by The National. Ironically, this song always played just by the cemetery where Janne’s ashes are.

The National released Sleep Well Beast that year. This became an essential album for me. One day I was listening to it in the car while driving back. I felt happy. I stepped into the house as I was singing “Nobody Else Will Be There”. Janne yelled from the kitchen, “you are singing!”

Around that time, I was just listening to music I liked. I played the piano ballad “Carin At The Liquor Store”. Janne stepped in to tell me that she liked it, an oddity for her. It’s a love song, about the infatuation the singer has with someone not unlike how I felt about Janne at first.

Janne liked this album. Whenever we needed something cozy, I would play it aloud. Even though The National is classified as a rock band, don’t let that deceive you.

In 2018, they came to play in Helsinki in a festival. I was tempted to get tickets, but didn’t. It’s one of the moments in my life when I think I made the wrong choice. This is the same festival where we went to enjoy The Cure in 2019. I had learned my lesson.

In 2022, the opportunity to correct it presented itself. While I was at work in Oslo, I learned by chance that there was a festival that same day within walking distance from the office where The National was going to play. I excused myself from evening meetings. I posted in Instagram some photos with the comment that I went because “life is short”.

When The National started playing, I recognized that music from the start. Their first song was “Don’t Swallow The Cap”.

This happened just 26 days before the moment when Janne had to stay at the emergency of the hospital as they had found something. Life is short indeed.

I’m not alone
I’ll never be
And to the bone
I’m evergreen
And if you want (Dead seriously)
To see me cry (Don’t swallow the cap)
Play “Let It Be” (Pat yourself on the back)
Or “Nevermind” (Dead seriously)

(“Don’t Swallow The Cap” by The National)