#185 Honey

This morning is a perfect example of my new life. I wake up happy. We are taking a trip we are looking forward to. Today Conan releases his new show. Work is going great. In the background, I play some comedy videos, SNL this time. A parody of a singer starts playing and my heart is pierced like a party balloon pinched by a needle.

Robyn is a Swedish singer that I’m a fan of. I discovered her during our time in Dublin. The song “With Every Heartbeat” is about a breakup, but now I know it is also about me. The closing verse “and it hurts with every heartbeat” doesn’t help.

Janne was suspicious of my music taste. Even though she liked some of my favorite bands, she didn’t like everything. However, if I would buy tickets to go to a concert, I rarely failed on hitting the mark with her. She knew that the live experience would be good.

When I bought tickets to see The Cure, I noticed that Robyn was playing the day before in the same festival. I had to get tickets for two days then. Janne didn’t know her too much. I would have been closer to the stage, but Janne wanted to be at the very back. She was still suspicious.

Robyn came into the stage and Janne got a shock. She didn’t think that I would like music like this, because she did. I could still surprise her and this was 16 years into our life together.

At the end, she was a convert. This was at the time when Robyn had released Honey, one of the best albums of 2018. The first track is called “Missing U”. The song is supposed to be about a breakup, but somehow, that’s what Janne and I went through: “the space where you used to be / your head on my shoulder / all the plans we made / that never happened”.

I need to listen to the whole album now. This is the patch that will plug the hole in my balloon of a heart.

Every colour and every taste
Every breath that whispers your name
It’s like emeralds on the pavement

(“Honey” by Robyn)