#80 Strength

Janne was strong. That deceived her sometimes. When she needed to go to the doctor or the hospital, she would postpone it. I was there to remind her though.

It happened when she got an appendicitis. I suggested going to emergency. She had to stay for an emergency surgery right away. She still came walking out to the car next day in between piles of snow like it was nothing.

It happened when she was in labor with Daniel. If I hadn’t pushed her to go to the hospital, who knows, maybe Daniel would have been born at home. Janne insisted till the end that it was the spicy food from the day before.

It happened on July 17th. At that stage, she had very little energy and would spend her time in bed. I spent as much time as I could with her in our room.

That day, a light nose bleeding started. It was nothing to worry about normally. However, when more than six hour went by, I suggested to go to emergency. We did that and after several hours, they could not stop it as her liver was not functioning properly. They asked us to go next day to another hospital with nose doctor specialists.

We went home at 2 a.m. and to the next hospital at 9. They had to cauterize the broken vessels. The blood stopped. What I saw for the first time is that Janne needed a wheelchair as she had no energy to walk. She was still positive.

Janne stayed in the hospital for a few hours. Then we drove to her regular hospital. Her oncologist asked her to come spend a few days there. They were going to do a blood transfusion to strengthen her system. This was a known procedure for us already.

We went to the oncology department. It was supposed just to be a few days. She was still relatively well, but I had a feeling. Outside the hospital, after visit hours were over, I told a close friend that I felt that Janne wouldn’t come out of the hospital anymore. I’m not sure what my friend thought. I wish I had been wrong.

Janne regained some energy. This photo is the last one I did of her smiling at the beginning of this hospital stay. Daniel had collected a flower for her and asked loved ones to touch it so she could feel the love.

I know that Janne felt strong with our love.